Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Fight Between My Mind and My Heart

There's a war going on between my heart and my mind. You see, my mind KNOWS what to do, but my heart can't feel it. They can't seem to communicate well with one another. My sleep has been affected by this vicious battle. It's the worst at night. 

My heart begs eagerly to fall into the sweet memories I use to have with him. I was so happy. But my mind is at a constant struggle with my heart , fighting for me not to go down that "dark path." I mean, I give my mind some credit, it's only looking out for my well being. I shouldn't been living in a memory anyway. It's not "healthy" as they say. 

But tonight, as my mind (once again) was fighting with my heart, trying every which way possible to NOT stoop low and give in....I gave in. I felt so ashamed, OH but it felt so good! I watched myself fall onto this warm and cozy cloud. It's hard to describe but it was like I was sitting a memory cloud. I saw myself laying there, my hands behind my head...feet kicked up, smiling up at the sky. I was living in the memory. The memory of fun times. The memory of when I actually felt loved. The memory of being...happy. What a peaceful place to be, wishing I could live here forever. 

Just as I was feeling all good inside, my mind came to the rescue (ugh). It yelled at my heart to come back to reality. "BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK THERE!!!!!"- my heart desperately screamed back.I...don't...wan' 

I felt like a 5 year old throwing a temper tantrum in a mall full of crowded people. After I yelled and screamed and cried, I suddenly was embarrassed. I suddenly felt my memory cloud disinigrate beneath me and felt like an outsider watching myself fall into the cold, mean air filled with anxiety. Falling and falling, I opened my eyes and found myself in the complete darkness of my room. 

My heart won tonight. But tomorrow is another battle. 

Friday, February 10, 2012

Life Is A Gift

Today before you think of saying an unkind word–
think of someone who can’t speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food–
think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife–
think of someone who is crying out to God for a companion.

Today before you complain about life–
think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children–
think of someone who desires children but they’re barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn’t clean or sweep–
think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive–
think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job–
think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another–
remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down–
put a smile on your face and thank God you’re alive and still around.

Life is a gift – Live it, Enjoy it, Celebrate it, and Fulfill it.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Blind Boy

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: “I am blind, please help.” There were only a few coins in his hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.

That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, “Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?”

The man said, “I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.” “I wrote: “Today is a beautiful day, but I cannot see it.”

Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively. When life gives you 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling. And even more beautiful, is knowing that you are the reason behind it!!! Just think… God can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart!